A Minnesotan opinador

Writing about current and important things.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Having Racist Thoughts

Today I had a great meeting with someone about human capacity and the innovation in ideas from young people like me. Then I headed for class--I was already late. And the bus-ride seemed to be long.

When I sat, I made the conscious decision to sit by an African American older man. A bit of background here is important: I grew up in an environment where people of color and Native American are seen as less even if sometimes we as people of color are making such prejudices. My point is that I know white privilege exists and that often times whites have a better starting line in life than brown people. But sometimes we discriminate within our own ethnic groups (will write about this another time). Other times we discriminate or hold prejudices of other minority ethnic groups (minorities only in the U.S. because we are majority globally).

When I took that sit, I made the decision to not sit by the white college student across from the African American man I chose to sit by. Right when I sat, I started thinking about who this person right next to me might me. He was reading the sports section in the newspaper. I begun to write in my cute black leather journal about the meeting I had just had (I didn't want to forget those new thoughts about humanity, the power of youth, and my role int he world!). On the top of the page where I was writing I had previously written something in Spanish sometime ago (talk about not letting everyone know what you are writing while in the bus, right?).

My first thoughts about this man were the following. Well, he's African American and is on the bus--was wearing "ordinary" clothing. The story I started to make up, through my lenses of what inequality in the world is, was that this man, right next to me, is probably living in poverty, probably doesn't have a job (it was after 11am when this happened), and probably has no formal eduction or any "advanced" education. This I was thinking while listening to La Oreja de Van Gogh, Beyoncé and Gloria Trevi because I did not find the book I am reading for pleasure (I usually forger where I am while reading).

I am not proud of this and I will never say I have never before had racist thoughts.

Well, my assumptions, which sometimes could hold true due to the history of inequality in the nation, were wrong. The person sitting next to me asked in Spanish where I was from (here I frown because I always get this question and it always leads to me getting annoyed for certain reasons). I looked at him funny and asked, "What?" And I think this question came from my beliefs of who he might have been and the disbelief that a black man could speak Spanish so well. I even started thinking about other options to why he might speak Spanish. Was he from the Caribbean? How could he speak Spanish? My stereotyping was falling apart!

Then, after a small conversation with this soft spoken person, I learned that he had lived in Guatemala and Mexico in the past. He used to be a Spanish professor. And now studies Latin Literature. WOW! WHAT?!

I, as an individual committed to social justice, must learn to think of people as people first. I must learn to acknowledge that there are differences between communities, but that stereotypes are stereotypes and were created to be challenged. I must learn to name what it is I think and feel when events happen. Today, I felt compelled to sit by a black man because I have learned that race does not define a person as I have been told many times before. Today, though, I learned that I still hold racist thoughts. I do believe we all hold them, but my first step to progress as a person, is to name it and bring it up whenever I can. And that is exactly what I am doing here. Again, I am not proud of it, but naming it might assist me having less racist thoughts, if not eradicating them from my systems (which I don't think is possible).

Friday, December 4, 2009

Glee-ed Advent Vespers Wanted

It has been sometime now that I have been told about that Glee show. Although I have only seen two episodes of it, I enjoyed the show's over-the-top humor. Of course, there is something to day about a show that for the "first time" tried hard to be racially, sexual-orientation, ability, and so forth diverse. At the same time it does look like that is what is trying to do, but that's besides the point.

Tonight I got to go to Advent Vespers, of course after being for a few minutes at Holidazzle before going to eat. I went with my great roommate and another friend. There we saw many fellow Augsburg, and I am sure many more Norwegian descendants who gathered for the 30th Anniversary of Advent Vespers.

Anyways, I had been to this event my first year of college, which seems a LONG time ago, but it was only the winter of 2007. And last time I had been a bit troubled by the organized religion of it all. This time I actually wanted to enjoy it, and for a couple of hours not think too much about the readings, the lyrics, etc. It was a time to go see fellow friends be part of something great of Augsburg. And it was.

But at the same time, whenever those songs with tones that made me want to stand and rock back and forth (not a music expert here by the way) and sing (which hardly ever happens if it is not Paquita la del Barrio, Lady Gaga, Shakira, before her whatever she's doing now, or Banda Limon, etc).

More importantly, I envisioned, as all the choirs did their thing, that some people would start dancing and performing as characters in Glee do. In my mind it all worked out, of course there would be no "Wheels" because the church does not have that capacity from what I could tell. I kept smiling throughout the whole service because it was so fun to imagine it! Oh, how I wish it had happened though.

Overall, though, Advent Vespers is a great event. Yeah it is part of organized religion, but that has its ups and downs as everything else. I am not as reluctant to build alliances with people who are part of congregations and with congregation of course.